5 Things I Did As A Single Adult To Prepare For Parenting
Do you want to be a parent someday? Do you want to be a good one? I’ve been a mom for 7 years and I’ve thought about some of the things I did that really set me up for success in motherhood. Consider this list of things I did, and because I like countdowns, let’s start at number five…
5. Learn Manners -Many parents will teach manners based on what is convenient for their life as the adult. Think about and learn how your behavior can make someone else feel. Most likely your child will pick up on your behavior. My kids are high energy, betcha can’t guess why. Haha. Consider these questions when thinking about manners: How far does a smile and a strong hello really go? What does eye contact when you say thank you really mean? When you ask “how are you?” what are you listening for and what will you do with the response? Are you willing to say “I’m sorry” and “I forgive you.” Modeling healthy relationship means modeling how we deal with imperfections. Manners are a way to live well regardless of our own imperfections and the imperfections of those we love.
4. Learn To Manage Stress -Learning how to manage a kind of stress that doesn’t go away will help you balance reality and lose false expectations. Because the day may come when your clothes have poop on them and you still have to make a presentation at work. Yes, it sounds funny and some people respond to stressful situations by laughing, but not everyone. Learn to behave with patience and pray for a spirit of flexibility and a mind that thinks clear thoughts, regardless of how you feel.
3. Habitual Self Care -In your calendar, schedule a time to go for a walk or read. Begin to exercise and eat well! Do something that helps you focus on breathing, gives you free time to think about anything, and helps you practice making yourself a priority between other priorities. Also, for the ladies >>> try evening walks at Target and buying nothing… that’s a discipline all on it’s own! ;)
2. Fine Tune Your Ear To The Holy Spirit -I am continually learning how to listen to the Holy Spirit, but listening to the Holy Spirit for someone else’s life (who can’t even focus on my voice!) is next level. There is a weight in every decision I make for my children. I must learn to hear what God wants me to tell them. I don’t talk to them because they are my kids. I don’t let them grow up and I just live life with them. I talk with them because they are God’s kids, and I have the privilege to communicate HIS thoughts, HIS discipline, HIS ideas to them, and in return I get cuddles at night, loads of dirty laundry or boogers in my hair as payment. Seriously though if someone likes laundry, wanna come over???
1. Learn How To Learn -Parenting is an adventure all of its own. You learn a language and culture no one understands except for people who are parenting. Have you heard the phrase “There’s no hood, like motherhood”? It is real! Real scary and real messy that is. Parents face fear every day. Fear of is my child safe? Fear of will my kid have friends? Is my kid the mean kid? Is my kid the smart one or the kind one? What will the world look when they are an adult? How can I prepare them? Learning “how to learn” will help you navigate things like physical development, social circles, emotional intelligence, education, raising faith-filled kids instead of fear full kids…the list goes on. When you are responsible for another human, you become a certain kind of detective. Begin to discover who your favorite “parents” are and why. These examples will be your clue to what kind of parent you could be and chances are, you’ll need their advice once you are one. Tip: One way to learn how to learn is to make friends with other intentional learners.
Keep dreaming and investing in yourself today and you’ll have an amazing future! To wrap up, in honor of mother’s day check out my other post 3 Things I Learned From My Mom. Does that make sense?