5 Things Holding Us Back (When We're Reaching For Goals & Dreams)
Okay, friends, you’ve set a goal for the year, and we’re two months in. You’ve picked a word for the year and are eight weeks in. How are you doing? If you’ve pressed in, you’ve probably found yourself wrestling. I have experienced this wrestle more than once. Usually, it’s in every new season I’ve got to conquer these. You might have given up on your word for the year or the goal, but I want to help you see some undesirable experiences possibly causing you to back down. And I want to share these with you so you can overcome them. This post is meant to equip you so that you are ready and stronger as you grow. Consider this a piece of the map for your journey. If you’re like me, when you know something tough is coming, you can mentally and emotionally prepare and not be thrown off as easily.
Now, honestly, each of these points could be their own blog post, but here (in a nutshell) are five undesirable things that happen when setting goals and reaching for a God-dream and some suggestions of what to do when they happen:
#1 Pain: Sometimes this is a physical pain, a mental, or emotional pain. This can and will cause someone to stop in their tracks if they don’t have a plan to continue on their journey. Pain makes it hard to breathe, hard to think and process, and pain makes it hard to know what to do next. So when you are facing pain, step one is to breathe; the pain could be a sign to reevaluate the “reach-ability” of your goal or a confirmation that you’re growing in the right direction. Step two: I highly recommend talking to a friend, a mentor, or a counselor, depending on how much the pain affects your decisions and treatment of those you love most. Step three: Increase your prayer life! Talk to God when it hurts. Step four: Continue and discover how to take care of yourself as you go. Pain can make us resilient. Pain can help us build better boundaries. Pain can make us stronger when we let it be a teacher. Pain is a force we can allow to push us in the right direction. So we don’t have to fear pain. Pain gives us stories of victory.
#2 Loss: We may lose friends, money, and time, but in that process, we can also lose the wrong ideas of who we are and what we are worth. Losing lies to gain the truth is worth losing worldly status and concerns. Is it just me, or are the worst experiences the ones that teach us the most? Rather than dwelling on what we are losing, let’s shift our focus to HOW we are losing it and what is REPLACING that loss. Step one: Evaluate. Am I losing in a good way? If not, adjust your goals & plans as necessary. Sometimes, loss is inevitable. We can’t be “above” losing or learning from loss. Step two: Replace the loss with taking more time to worship, pray, read your bible, rest, and spend time with Christian friends you trust are in your corner. (If you have none, find a church and make new friends! Yes, it’s hard and awkward, but the devil is a liar, and he wants to isolate you. Losing is his game, not ours.) So, take the right relational steps to win. Put your eyes on Christ and fill the gap with your best people.
#3 Insecurity: Those nagging questions like: What if I reach this goal and I’m still not where I want to be? Is this worth the effort, the loss, the pain? What if they won’t like me? What if I actually can’t do it? Step one: Recognize these are discouraging thoughts and who is whispering them in your ear. Resist that voice. Step two: Find people who can help you grow in self-awareness. Evaluate to ensure you haven’t set a goal that is too lofty now. Do some digging and see if your lack of confidence is connected to your competence level. Adjust as needed. Step three: Believe it or not, your growth isn’t as personal as you might think. Achievement requires other people cheering you on, coaching you, leading you, and caring for you. Ask for their input. Ask for encouragement. The definition of encouragement is “to give courage.” Seek help. Get the training, get the education, get input. Many times, our confidence is connected with our competency. And sometimes, it’s just the enemy. Ask for help to discern the difference. Step four: Choose courage by remembering your identity rooted in Christ and obey the Lord’s leading. Don’t allow insecurity to hold you back. Be brave!
#4 Frustration: The frustration of being stuck or wondering why something didn’t work or why it’s not working fast enough can birth a loss of momentum, especially if our emotions are no longer inspired. Step one: Take a break. Rest. Remind yourself why you’re doing all this in the first place. Get creative. Get inspired again. Step two: Step back and look at the big picture again. Look for a different perspective on your goal or how you have decided to reach it. Step three: Get back to it! Don’t allow your frustration to demotivate you and break for too long.
#5 Overwhelm: You feel all these things are happening simultaneously. Or, there are too many goals you want to reach. Step one: Write down a list of goals or where you’d like to grow. Step two: Pray and ask God to show you which one thing you should go after, then make a plan and find support. Step three: Settle your heart to follow the Lord’s daily leading. Step four: Once you have achieved that goal, revisit your list and ask God what’s next. Proceed. Go slow. Your race isn’t a race against anyone else. Take your whole life to accomplish this goal if it’s that big. Step five: Regularly stop to be proud of yourself and celebrate your progress with those who were in your corner on your worst days.
All these things, individually or all together, can lead you to find the end of yourself. This can be a blessing in disguise because that is when you can see where Jesus Christ can move in your life as you continue to take the right steps and respond to his loving-kindness. Sometimes, it is truly his grace that keeps us going until we reach a goal. Sometimes, his mercy for us helps us evaluate and reset our goals, making them slightly more realistic as we learn. Either way, it is us doing the hard work of continuing.
Because I am a deep thinker, I used to get lost in thought, and those thoughts could go down confusing roads without showing me the way out. Years ago, I had to learn to preach to myself and tell myself to stop and realign my thoughts with scripture and the vision we’re reaching for.
2 Corinthians 10:4-5 tells us, “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ,” (NKJV)
In times of loss, pain, frustration, security, and feeling overwhelmed, I remind myself, “I am in charge of my thoughts, and I am making God in charge of my entire life right now.” I must realign my soul (mind, will, and emotions) to His Word. I turn on worship music and review these bible verses until I can control my thoughts and until the stuff mentioned above no longer influences my attitude and behavior.
Use these scriptures to encourage you:
“We destroy arguments and every lofty opinion raised against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to obey Christ” 2 Corinthians 10:5
“I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength.” Philippians 4:13
“I am the head and not the tail.” Deuteronomy 28:13
“His grace is all-sufficient for me.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
“I will not be conformed to this world but be transformed by renewing my mind.” Romans 12:2
When the time comes that you experience pain, loss, frustration, insecurity, or are feeling overwhelmed, I’d like to encourage you to do the same. Slow down your thoughts for that day or that weekend; remember to control your thoughts, even if you can’t slow down your schedule. Review what you have already accomplished in the last few days or weeks. Print or screenshot the bible verses above, tape them to your bathroom mirror, or save them as wallpaper on your phone. Keep these in front of you so that you can keep growing! It is always okay if your pace changes as you run after a goal.
Remember, God has a purpose for your life and is with you while you endure these experiences. They truly shape our character to reflect Christ if we surrender them to a loving and holy God. God is faithful. If he brought you to it, he will lead you through it. Embrace the undesirable with an attitude of faith. Overwhelm the overwhelm with hope.
xo, sa